WHY SOME SPIRITUAL SISTERS MAY POSSIBLE SEE NO SUITOR (Pastor Femi Lazarus)

WHY SOME SPIRITUAL SISTERS MAY POSSIBLE SEE NO SUITOR (Pastor Femi Lazarus)

This is a very delicate matter, and I have been particularly praying for wisdom to handle this matter for days now.

 

WHY SOME SPIRITUAL SISTERS MAY POSSIBLY SEE NO SUITOR.

 

As a lead pastor of a church of 100% youths, as the ladies grow older, my concerns get stronger. Most of those that I consider “the best” are usually the ones who struggle in this area. Sometimes I get cranky and feel church guys are looking for something else and not good relationship, but is this true? Definitely not! There are plenty of good boys in church.

 

To solve big problems you need to answer honest questions. I began asking questions like;

Why do I consider them as good girls?

It is very simple, I know them. I am their pastor. I have seen them handle various issues, I have seen both their divine and human part.

Why are guys not seeing this?

 

It is also very simple.
To answer this we need to look at the law of projection. ” People will believe more of what they see of you than what you really are”
Most of them project themselves as too perfect, they project just the church part, just the tongues, and the prophetic nature, they mask themselves behind the veil of religion.

 

They mostly lie about their human part because of fear of persecution and rejection in their circle. Little do they know that there are broken people just like them in their circle who need a lady who will complement them and not judge them. Most of these guys are afraid of them, they want a wife and not a judge, they want a babe and not a pastor, they want a friend and not a prophetess. This is marriage, you know!

 

When questions are asked in church, the brothers quietly watch the way they scramble around the word “sex” it sends chills down the spines of prospective brothers, and in most cases, the brothers themselves are also masquerading, they know much more than they are projecting, and the ladies are held in tight corner. Things deceit does to holy people!

 

Sometimes the issue itself is not lack of prayer, it may be that prayer is all we do and we haven’t been flexible enough to change and review some aspects of our lives.

Sometimes the issue is not that we don’t serve God enough, maybe we do but we don’t understand what it means to be ourselves without religious filters.

 

One more thing that I have come to notice is; sometimes many let the bitterness that came as a result of disappointments to eat up their perception of Christian brothers. The more the brothers perceive their anger, the more they run away.

Apart from the issue of dressing, presentation, backgrounds, and health issues (which is a sensitive one), one more hinderance could be lack of flexibility as a result of religious colorations.

 

I put it to you; you are not just a lady-pastor, you are a beautiful woman, you are not just a ministry gift, you are a lovely lady. Strike the balance, it might be the only stone you have left to turn.

 

Beyond the disappointments you have experienced, God still has good boys, and they are all over the place.

 

 

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4 Comments

  • CONCERN SISTER
    June 29, 2019

    I actually don’t entirely agree with this.
    I am lady that loves God and I learnt to strike the balance late but I have spoken to a lot of brothers, pastors and realized that our generation don’t practice what they preach.

    Most ladies that love God got there with teachings/ exercises that stired their hunger or prophetic words that ushered them into that life…. the funny thing is that most brothers or men of God don’t want to marry them but are raising them.

    Initially they are made to feel or think dressing doesn’t make them. But their hunger for God but later they start telling them packaging is the way because they look for packaging.

    Why is a spiritual lady often refers to as ajudge? It only means that men of God/Spiritual brothers have been raising bad breeds that turn out to be judges.. think about that…

    I know a man of God who says he won’t ever marry a female minister especially one who has to go on stage (because he wants a women that can take care of his kids and the home) but he has about 70% of female in his ministry that he is raising . it baffled me

    I have met a lot of ministers and brothers who say they don’t want spiritual sisters who won’t be romantic but the average sisters they can groom to be spiritual but they are the same people that have sisters in their minister they keep telling not to let their fire die , to be ministry concious and ask them to keep attending meetings or services all the time without teaching them on relationships or dress sense.

    In conclusion, let ministers raise a balance breed of sisters and not because of their physical desires teach the above messages.

    In 10 years I hope that these ministers and brothers can still say the same about their various choices of marriage.

  • CONCERN SISTER
    June 29, 2019

    For a long time ministers told me to keep on track and just position myself, they said date only spiritual brothers and not just anyone because of what you carry but they feel okay dating anyone then they teach them.

    In paragraph 4, I know for a fact that brothers hide their broken part from the females so they can still appear as “whole” to them but are in a rush to counsel the spiritual sisters who consistently open up to them about their struggles while they speak to ladies outside that they don’t need to appear whole too.

    Brothers and ministers are the one’s that’s cover their pain and uncertainty in loud tongues and “rhema” and to keep up appreances they open up to people outside their ministries or circles hence the end up dating those ladies outside their ministries…

    As a spiritual brother/minister how many ladies in your ministry or circle know the extend to which you are broken ?

    As a spiritual sister/minister , how many brothers/minister in your ministry or circle know the extend to which you are broken?

    Who are the people constantly being ministered too or counselled?

  • CONCERN SISTER
    June 29, 2019

    For a long time ministers told me to keep on track and just position myself, they said date only spiritual brothers and not just anyone because of what you carry but they feel okay dating anyone then they teach them.
    In paragraph 4, I know for a fact that brothers hide their broken part from the females so they can still appear as “whole” to them but are in a rush to counsel the spiritual sisters who consistently open up to them about their struggles while they speak to ladies outside that they don’t need to appear whole too.
    Brothers and ministers are the ones that covers their pain and uncertainty in loud tongues and “rhema” just to keep up appreances . They open up to people outside their ministries or circles hence they end up dating those ladies outside their ministries…
    As a spiritual brother/minister how many ladies in your ministry or circle know the extend to which you are broken ?
    As a spiritual sister/minister , how many brothers/minister in your ministry or circle know the extend to which you are broken?
    Who are the people constantly being ministered too or counselled?

  • CONCERN SISTER
    June 29, 2019

    “I put it to you; you are not just a lady-pastor, you are a beautiful woman, you are not just a ministry gift, you are a lovely lady. Strike the balance, it might be the only stone you have left to turn.”

    Yea we know and quite a number of us have put the above creed in our hearts already .

    A large number of ministers /brothers don’t date the ladies they share revelations with or “groom” .. they recite the article when they are asked why and it makes me wonder …..

    In the past women ran away from marry spiritual men. today, spiritual men run away from marrying spiritual women that have like minds with them and women run to marry spiritual men.

    I write all of these because I am tired of spiritual ladies been painted these ways.
    Too much have been said about us and too much have been assumed about us and for me I feel this is the time to say enough is enough.

    I love God, I am a beautiful lady and I have struck the balance but we have been branded already and it seems we can’t be unbranded.

    We also long for beautiful Godly homes , filled with Jesus, Love , Romance , Laughter, Support, Friendship, Comfort and Peace that will glorify God .

    Too many spiritual ladies end up marry wrong and it kills their fire eventual and that because they get comfortable with the idea that spiritual brother’s won’t marry them.

    I am a Spiritual sister….. I want a beautiful home and a wonderful marriage with all the packages .

    I want my kids to be proud of their parents and home .

    I want the world to be amazed and also be taught about marriage in the right way.

    I believe in kingdom marriage and that a spiritual sister can be God’s lover, a prophetic person , a minister, a mentor , wife, lover, best friend, lister , advice , prayer partner, play partner, companion, sweetness, nurse, cook, tailor and mother.

    I want to teach the world how to love the way God taught us.

    Thanks for reading.

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